ive had enough

well i can add that one to the list can't i. i never know who to act around her and that can't be right, it just can't. i mean shes my mum. how can you spend so much time with one person but not really know them at all? it's not right. i mean i think i no her pretty well and then she turns around and does something compleatly unexpected and upsetting. i thought things were getting back on track, with everything not just me and her. but i was obviously wrong. again. i always am, i can never do anything right. she says we have good relationship and always says 'you can come and talk to me about anything'. i used to think i could, i used to look up to her so much, she was my idol and i wanted to be her, but now everything has changed. i'm scared to tell her stuff, anything infact, i can post it on here for the whole word to see, but can't go and talk to her, thats not right.

i no are relationship hasn't been the best recently. we don't talk to each other very much but i thought that i would still be able to go to her if i had a problem, but now i can't.

i never thought that i would say this seeing as how close we used to be, but i'm fricking scared to talk to my mum, i can't even look her in the eye. i want her to be there for me when i need her the most but i don't no if i can ever turn to her again without knowing she is judging me. argument after argument, and all it does is chip away at me, i fall further and further until theres only two people i can turn to. and i hope he knows who he is. she deffinatly does, i don't want to lose her but i'm gunna. and i swear to God i am never making the same mistake again by leaving him. x